Surrender
by Mr.Mongoose256
Summary: Set during and after "Tori & Jade's Play Date." Tori's already smitten, Jade becomes less stoic and more smitten. T for language and a relationship between two ladies. Jori, some Cabbie. No concrete update schedule.
1. Inside Jade's Mind, It's Not That Bad

Disclaimer: I do not own the characters or some aspects of the plot which are part of the TV show Victorious.

A/N: So I started this a while ago as a fill, but I totally abandoned that idea when I had midterms and a friend died and finals. When I finally came back to the world, I decided I wanted to change it into a fic where Jade is not fixed by Tori, because she's just fine the way she is. Very fine.

Lines (or sometimes chapters) indicate a change in narrator. I try to make it obvious within the first line or two.

Anyway, reviews are always appreciated, and I'll probably update soonish then a little sporadically until I finish it off (the first post has quite a few chapters). I apologize for any little plot holes or grammar/spelling mistakes as this story is un-beta'd (cause that's the way I roll...oh no, that's just cause I don't have one). And the chapters are more logical splits than for length because I didn't want to muddle the main portion with breaks other than change in narrator. I promise you won't hear that much A/Ning from me after this.

* * *

I could sing. I mean, I do. But I have a reason to. First, a perfect opportunity to set up a breakup with Beck comes along (the fights were glorious), and now, I get to star opposite Tori…but as her _wife_. Sure I was totally googly eyed for Beck, at least until we broke up the first time. I was really with him for emotional security. Without the hottest boy, I wasn't the best, which made me no longer special, and no one would find a reason to love me, yadda yadda…or so my therapist described my thought process. I just liked his hair and I thought his skin looked a little like coffee. Not black coffee, but you can't have everything. I didn't really believe my therapist. He was a constant in my unstable life for two years. But stability is only good until it goes away. If you return to it, it just doesn't seem stable. Then when Tori helped me get Beck a dog, it all sort of clicked. Because the moment she showed me kindness and wasn't eying Beck, was concentrated on me—the only thing that mattered was keeping her at arm's length. Not too close, but definitely not too far. Unfortunately, I couldn't bail after she helped me get him that dog. That mauled his father—hehehe. Best shadow puppet show ever. I mean, not that my past relationship with Beck has anything to do with my future friendship with Vega which will fall into place once the rehearsal starts.

Crap. This is pretty hilarious. Not the mauling, the play. Well…yeah, that too. But also terrible. I mean, I'm by no standards a perky housewife named Nancy. I just can't take this assignment seriously. Especially considering the boy I used to date (and broke up with because he wanted to get to the next level) is now my son, the identical twin of a person of a different race. Oh, Sikowitz. You never fail to make an awkward situation. Maybe Sinjin secretly grows his coconuts and imbibes them with awkwardness. Mental note: share this theory with someone later, but get back to reality now.

Of course, the first time I met her was kind of adorably funny too. Her nervously trying to get the coffee out of Beck's shirt. Of course her nervousness made her a prime target at first. Really she's just so scared and innocent until she stands up for herself and what she wants, at which point she becomes predatory. I'm not sure what I like better.

She looked at me, so I put on a disgusted look and make a comment about not liking Tori. Arm's length, and all she ever does is try to get closer, so I'm left with the dirty work. But then, leaving me work I half enjoy, that doesn't really make me a martyr. I enjoy tormenting her because I enjoy tormenting; I don't enjoy it because in all honesty, I really enjoy Tori. And I want to study her. A good scientist doesn't interact with what they're studying.

Later that day, when I actually see her again, we're reading lines. We're not really at the blocking stage yet, just figuring everything out, making suggestions for it. So I sit as far away from Tori as possible, and Sikowitz doesn't seem pleased. Whatever. Even though we're only doing the voices, she insists on falling asleep every time she's supposed to. It's actually really cute, her 'sleep' face, except for the parts where she falls onto Andre or Beck. Well, it's still cute, but then I'm not concentrating on that. When I get to the parts where I have to show love towards her… towards Walter, that is… of course I'm scared to show anything. Usually I'm awesome at acting, but this is a little too far on the real side for me to be comfortable with it. Now that doesn't mean I love her, I mean… it can't. Because teens don't fall in love, certainly not within weeks or months. And I don't fall in love, certainly not with Tori. She's just the only person I've needed to keep close as much as I've needed to push away. That just means friendship, and of course I'd confuse friendship and romantic love, they're equally rare in my life. Are those scissors on the desk? I lift myself up a little by pushing down my arms. Yup. I scooch a little toward the desk and grab them. For comfort. It really might be a shame that other people automatically become uncomfortable, it's not like I can help what makes me feel safe. It might be, if their faces weren't so horrified for a split second. I smile, and they think it's because I enjoy seeing them that way. But that's only the minority of the smile. Scissors and dark make up make me feel safe. God knows why. If I didn't know better, I'd say Tori fakes it sometimes. She's just not the scared type. I guess we're only doing one read through today. I guess I'll go to my house.

The next day, Sikowitz already has Tori's mustache ready. It looks really… bushy. But good on her. And the wigs are already ready, because we had some exactly like the ones we needed. But wigs are uncomfortable. And mustaches are too, but Tori's really getting into it. So we do a runthrough. Well, the one where we do ALL the blocking. Which takes soooo long. Good thing I went to sleep early last night. And there's just so much being around Tori. Sikowitz seems to retry an impossible number of times every scene we're in close proximity. How that man found 15 different ways for her to fall asleep into my arms I'll never know. But he has a gift. I try to catch her gently each time. But I really should be concentrating on Walter, not Tori. And when we finally do our lines about loving each other, all the tenderness falls apart. It has to. Arm's length.


	2. In Which Jade Talks to her Therapist

"Jade, I think you've come very far in your ability to interact with people non-hostilely, but you can't quite get where you need to be."

"I think you have an issue with my lack of compliance with your treatment on the grounds that being part of society is not necessarily the bull's-eye for every life. You go on and on about everyone having their own comfortable normal and the right thing emotionally being the intuitively comfortable thing, but you don't seem to recognize hostile relations are my niche. And you keep pushing me to interact with my parents, which only breeds misery. We're incompatible personality types, and that's only exacerbated by people trying to push us together." Never fight a battle unarmed. "And frankly, you've developed somewhat of a god complex. Just because patients agree with logical conclusions does not mean you came to the right conclusion. In my case, I know a lot of my conclusions were illogical, and you have a problem with not being able to see the logic behind them, because you secretly want to rule the world with your psychology."

"You're the most difficult patient I've ever had to deal with. Someone with so much insight really doesn't have much of a need for therapy."

"Yeah, well. Parents. First what you think is your daughter is born, then as a little kid you dress her and raise her right, but she just turns out…not wrong, but different from what you think is right. So you try to offer her money and vacations if she behaves how you want her to and you blame yourself for not being able to control her. And then when you can't control her, you ignore that. But to ignore that, you need to ignore her. God knows why they think I need therapy. They probably need some just to deal with me. I wish they would realize that what you do doesn't always determine what you get."

"Yes, I actually advised them to take steps to get a family therapist—"

"For that you'd need a family."

"Yes, well, I told them at the very least they should see their own."

"Good."

"Yes…

Look, I don't mean to be rude, but if you still insist on my not analyzing anything out loud, do you at least want to make use of the legal obligation I have to not tell anyone what you say unless it'd end up harming someone?"

"But it's the highlight of the hour and a half session when you're rude!"

"Alright then. You should accept that your parents and society all combined to make you have a life crisis, and then you need to get over it, because anyone's idea of a proper family is a load of crap anyway and you just happen to be more towards the end of the spectrum than most people. But judging by your want for them to stop ignoring you, you are more in the middle than you think."

"I don't actually want them to pay attention to me, I just want someone to _want to _pay attention to me.

So, how about that legal obligation thing…"

"Go ahead."

"There's this girl. Who I really like—as a friend. And she likes me, but if I show her I like her, she'll just get too close without me pushing her away and I'll get hurt, or she will. At the very least she'll be scared. And I don't even know who she is yet. I haven't had years studying her emotions to be able to predict her every move like I have with most people I hang around. I mean I don't even need years usually. But she's different. And then my acting teacher complicates it and makes us husband and wife in a play. And—don't ask yet, I'm not done. And that complicates it because I've entertained one or two sexual thoughts about her, because she's an attractive girl. But I don't have romantic feelings, just platonic ones. But even revealing the strength of the platonic ones would scare her. You know, because people tend to latch on to feelings and kindle their growth more the less often they have them. And then I'm concerned that the only reason I like her as a friend is that I don't know what she's going to do next so I can't play with her as easily. I know that's part of why I'm friends with Cat, but I've known her long enough to figure out that's not the only reason why."

"Sounds like you need to—"

"Can it."

"think about it, reach a conclusion, and act on it."

"Thanks…"

"Well, that's the end of the hour and a half. I still can't believe you spend the first hour of it trying to intimidate me with scissors every time."

"Well it works most of the time."

"See your scissors next week—and Jade… I really respect you. You're a teenager, and you're a little messed up, but you know what works for you, so you do it. And when it doesn't work for society, you change it. And when it barely functions, you're brave enough to say fuck it, it works."

"Thanks. Take care of the loonies, Michael. And remember to tell them random people care about them, just because they don't want to see people go through the same things they've been through. That's an authorization for a breach of confidentiality."

I know he smiles every time I give him a little inspirational quote to tell people. I mean, no one better to tell him how to show people you care than someone who doesn't believe anyone cares, right? I think his favorite was, 'I'm not going to tell you everything will be alright, because that's a load of crap. What I can tell you is that the people who care will do everything in their power to make it alright. And even in the face of a cruel world, that's a formidable force on anyone's side.' He's such a sap.


	3. Inside Tori's Mind, It's a Little Dirty

I'm singing! Metaphorically. Oh hell, I'll make it literally. Beck broke up with Jade, which means I get to comfort her again, and I'm playing Jade's husband in a play! This is like, the best month ever. Year, not so much, I mean I had a lot of fun when I was 4. I love dinosaur toys. It's not hard to put on a disappointed face though. I just need to think about how little Jade wants me to be there for her, and whammo. I still can't get the first time they broke up out of my head. I hope they don't get back together as quickly this time. It was soooo worth it to dog shop with Jade and hold her while she cried though.

But when I got cast as her husband, all I could think about was whether the play would call for a kiss or not. I can't wait until blocking! I just feel like I'm about to explode, because I have no outlet for this feeling. I mean, I could go around hugging everyone, but I've tried that before and everyone always asks why you're happy. Then I could kiss one person passionately, but the only person I've actually wanted to do that to for months is Jade West. I bet she bites. I try to keep the smile from spreading over the _entirety_ of my face.

It's still wonderful of course. Being so full of happiness is amazing, no matter how volatile it feels inside. People always forget about how wonderful it feels to have a huge crush, they just focus on how the object of their desire could never become subject to their desire. I can't stop thinking about the what if's though. What if Jade West was queer? What if she was in love with me? There'd probably be some S&M, that's for sure. And a little bit of exhibitionism on my part. Any time we sat next to each other I'd do my best to drive her wild, hell, even drive her to orgasm, if she were into me. My latest what if is what if I could make her love me, through enough friendship and sex appeal. Of course, most of these fantasies I entertain in the privacy of my own room. Or biology class. Honestly I already know everything they're teaching. My aunt used to babysit for my parents while she was studying for the MCAT.

After I made it through acting without breaking out in too wide a grin (again, easy because Jade dislikes me), and making it through biology, I came to rehearsal with a very heavy blush. Y'know, biology. I stopped by the bathroom on the way here. Today's just reading the lines out loud, so Jade sits as far away from me as she can. Andre's loyalty is to me, and Beck's still upset with Jade, so they end up sitting next to me. Every time I 'fall asleep,' I imagine the kind of blocking we'll get to do. My heart jumps when I see that one of the stage directions is me falling into her arms. Well, everything's up to the director, but with the way he's eyeing Jade for sitting so far away, I think he might be crazy enough to make her do something against her will. When I try to look across the room and tell her I love her, the emotion shuts off. I just… this isn't how I'd tell her. I know by now, with how many times I've imagined it. I see her checking out a pair of scissors. I smile at first, but then remember how she loves to scare people. I quickly turn on my terrified face. I don't have to keep up the act for long though, we're finished running through it. Blocking tomorrow!

I got a mustache today. This might actually be my favorite year, screw toy dinosaurs. I think most people know about my obsession with mustaches. I mean, I don't find them attractive. Mainly because I'm like, a 5.7 on the Kinsey scale. (It's just easier to date guys. They have no idea what's going on, and I like that. I also like that they think they have to make the first move.) But mustaches just make everything so much funnier and happier! So I get to walk around the stage sporting a superfine mustache today. And Sikowitz ignores all the kissing opportunities (I guess he's not _that _suicidal where Jade is concerned), but he lets me fall into her arms at least 15 different ways. And into her boobs once. Ahhhhhhhh. And the way she holds onto me. I swear I messed up his directions another 8 times just to spend more time in her arms. And I really milked how long I'm supposed to stay asleep. And then we get to the part about reaffirming our love. And we just fail at it. She doesn't love me, and I can't feel the lines.


	4. In Which Tori Talks to Jade's Therapist

"Hey Michael!"

"Hey Tori, how's the radiant smile?"

"WONDERFUL!"

"Sometimes I think you get too excited by things and you set yourself up for too much sadness. But then I see some other patients, and I can't help but love how extreme you let your life be. So what's wonderful?"

"Toy dinosaurs and girls."

"Has there been a development with the girl we were talking about last time?"

"Yes! I got cast as her husband in a school play!" Tori completely missed his dawning realization and his eyebrow lift, thanks to her enthusiasm.

"Tori, I don't understand why you like her after all she's put you though. Do you have any insight on the subject?"

"Well, every action _is_ a reaction. Since the beginning of time. I figure we're not always in control of our actions, considering they're reactions. And even though I try not to judge people based on their actions, I try to use what I know about what it's a reaction to and their personality to find out more about them. She's a tortured poet, I just know she is."

"Have you considered you may be obsessed with broken girls?"

"She's not broken!"

"I didn't mean—"

"I know you didn't. I just like the same people romantically who I like platonically."

"So do most people Tori, that's why their lovers either start out as or become close friends."

"Right, well, I love people for the pain they've been through. Don't get me wrong, I don't wish pain on anyone, but on top of being able to relate to them better, they're just so compassionate on the inside. Like they want better for everyone else. And then, like you said earlier, my prime need in any relationship is to feel needed, because I'm scared of people leaving. And if they need me, I know they won't."

"One of my patients was just illustrating your point about, as you put it, tortured poets. She told me, 'remember to tell them random people care about them, just because they don't want to see people go through the same things they've been through.'"

"Wow." Okay, I lied. The only people I've wanted to kiss for months are Jade, and whoever keeps feeding Michael those genius quotes. This one was almost as good as the one about everything sucking, but maybe turning out alright because people care.

"So, is there anything else you'd like to talk about, Tori?"

"Not really. You can just spend the rest of the time asking me your therapisty questions."


	5. In Which Sikowitz Talks to a Therapist

"I can't say I approve of you trying to set two students up"

"Stop being such a fuddy duddy, the worst that can come out of it is they think I'm crazy, which is totally true, and become better friends. The best that can come out of it is young love. Ah, I remember my first girlfriend. Her name was Akeela, and her pet iguana put everyone else to shame. It knew how to shake hands!"

"Yes, well. I still can't believe you went for that BA instead of a BS. But I can see life is much more entertaining for you this way. We should really get together with people from college more often."

"Indeed! Would you care for some coconut milk, Michael? I get it from this weird kid, Sinjin, but it tastes divine!"


	6. In Which Tori and Jade Date

A/N: This chapter contains several songs. Sorry about that; if it's not your cup of tea, they're italicized for easy skipping. But I suggest you check out Lauren Hoffman if you're more into lyrics and less into the way things sound than the average person.

* * *

I come in and she's talking to the cook or bartender, or whatever he is. She's making small talk about the color of tea. And it isn't terribly awkward. As far as conversations about tea have ever gone. Then I see Sikowitz walking towards her, and I think better of fully entering the room. He spots me though, and I have to walk over. He's drinking soy sauce…?

"Okay, I'm here. Why?"

Psychowitz… I mean, Sikowitz starts explaining, "Because you two need to learn to play a husband and wife, believably."

Tori asks the obvious question—I don't understand why that girl bothers questioning his logic anymore, though. "What does that have to do with sushi?"

"Listen, I once did a show where I had to play a man in great pain. So to prepare, I threw myself down a flight of stairs…you wouldn't believe how many times I hit my head!"

I tell him, "Yeah we would."

Tori seems to be really amused by my comment, and also decides to agree. "We really really would." Score! I managed to make her happy without bringing us closer together!

"Now, to prepare for your roles you two must date. So have fun."

"With what?" Okay, now you're either clueless or in denial, Tori.

"Your date!"

Two can play at this cute and clueless game. "What date?"

"This one. It begins now at seven o twelve pm. You two will stay here, eat, drink, chat and giggle" he makes little girly jazz hands for emphasis, "until the restaurant closes, at midnight."

Five hours, next to Tori. No distractions. I can't torment anyone for that long! "What, forget it, I'm leaving."

"Yup, me too." Is she disappointed in Sikowitz's idea, or that I want to leave?

"Ahh, if either of you leave before midnight, you both get an F for the semester." Well, fuck.

WHAT. We're going on a date? Calm down Jade. It's not a real date. And he has spies, so it's not like it could even turn into one. Sikowitz is forcing her closer, so you just have to push away harder. Then again. Is this just barely functional in society? I could always use something that works.

* * *

Oh my god! I have a date with Jade West! This is so exciting. I mean it's not a real date, it's forced. And we're getting spied on. Okay, let's be honest, Sinjin would be spying on us no matter what. The point is I get to act like I'm on a date, in public, and she has to go along with it! Oh, but look at her face. Maybe I can make her happier. "'Scuse me? My date and I were wondering if you have a flight of stairs we could throw ourselves down." Dang. I thought for sure she'd find that funny.

* * *

Okay, that was really funny at the beginning of our date, but…This isn't working. I feel so awkward. I think she's trying to get my attention by slurping her soup. I look over, and I'm not so sure anymore. I quickly twist my face into a hateful one, mainly out of reflex. And I scream no at her. Classic Jade behavior. I can't even be civil for thirty minutes. But I really hate it when people slurp.

"Worst night ever." Did I say that out loud? That's not fair, I didn't even mean it in my head.

"Do you think I'm having fun on this 'date,' cause I'm not." Maybe that's because we haven't done anything but drink and eat since we got here.

"Then let's not talk." That way stupid things won't come out of my mouth. Ugh.

"Fine!

You know,"

I make a really loud crying sound at that. She's off again. Talking about how we should just complement each other. I tell her I like it when she's sad. The only real compliments I have are so profound that… I should just tone down what I feel. "Uhhh, okay. Your singing isn't… awful." It's gorgeous. Annnnnnd she looks offended. I may have…over corrected a bit there. Oh well.

"Thanks so much."

"Now let's hear you say something nice about me." Definition of fishing for compliments.

"Sure. Umm, I admire how you're never afraid to say what you think."

"That's stupid!" And also completely false.

"See?"

"Now your turn again."

"Uhh, I guess some people might say… that from certain angles, you're pretty." A long pause. It seems to draw on for so long that I rush my next comment, "You could say I'm pretty."

"You are pretty." She quirks up a smile, and I try hard to look away and not care that someone wants so much to care about me.

We spend a good amount of time eating and drinking in silence. Then two boys show up and sandwich us between them. I really hope I'm not blushing right now.

* * *

There are two guys pushing me into Jade. And flirting with us. I think one is named Chad. As angry as I am at them for disrupting this, they _are _pushing us together. And then they stop the only good thing they're doing, but keep flirting with us. So I pull my phone out to try to distract myself, and update slap. These guys are making this the worst date ever.

Ugh. That ass is trying to tickle Jade. Everyone knows even if she was ticklish, she'd just hide it. Also, everyone likes getting tickled on their bellies. Not their neck. Thank god she elbowed him. Now to get the rest of my jealousy and rage under control. And then she tells them where we go to school. Good move, Jade. At least now we have an opportunity to get up away from these idiots and give them a little "songy song action." I realize I bite my lip slightly as I'm talking to her. Which, let's face it, not the first time I've flirted with her a little.

And so we start singing. I love her voice. It's so…full and resonant. It reminds me of what I see when I look into her eyes, past all the eyeshadow. More the moment when I first saw her eyes, really. Where I felt like my soul got kicked back into my head a little… in a completely good way. And I swear I feel her looking at me and smiling more than once. And I can't help but smile because our improvised choreography has us in close quarters. We start beating up on the guys that were flirting with each of us. And as we walk away, I see her elbow Chad. And give him more of an evil eye than she was giving the other guy. Maybe, if I play my cards just right, I have a chance after all. Good God, the way she's walking towards me right now. I think the guys might not get the message if I look any more smitten, so I try to ignore it. But with Jade, even the less predatory steps are hard to ignore. And at that they leave.

We go back to sitting down and drinking tea, and Jade suggests that the next three hours would pass faster if we sang. So we decide at least one song every half hour, and in between we "try to be civil."

* * *

Tori's going to sing. A lot. I love my plan. The first song she picks… I've never heard of before. It doesn't even sound a little familiar.

"_You're a little bit damaged, I'm a sucker for that__  
__Wanna take you in my hands, wanna bring you back  
You're a little bit damaged, I'm a sucker for that__  
__Wanna fill up the spaces, and be everything you lack_" She keeps looking back at me.  
"_You're a little bit jaded, and you're closing the door__  
__And all that you felt then, you don't feel it anymore_" She winks at me when she says jaded. I guess she thinks it's a funny pun. Still, this song is a little eerily fitting.  
"_I'm the picture that's faded, I'm the love you don't trust__  
__Take the girl out from under glass and she'll always want too much_" And with that line I'm not too sure this song is strictly about friendship anymore. But then, a lot of songs are about romance. I would be hard pressed to find one about a really profound friendship that wasn't also about death, drugs, sex, or falling in love. And people would rather sing their strictly platonic friends songs about love, even if it is the romantic kind.  
"_I know you're just broken__  
__I know you're just broken, you're just broken__  
__You're a little bit damaged , I'm a sucker for that__  
__So in the moment I lost you, I wanted you back__  
__But that's a feeling that's fading, and I'm closing the door__  
__And all that I felt then, I don't feel it anymore__  
__I know you're just broken__  
__I know you're just broken, you're just broken__  
__You're just broken, you're just broken__  
__You're just broken, you're just broken_" I'm crying a little by the end of the song. The way she sings it with so much sadness about being shut out, and then just forgiving. I'm pretty sure I don't want barely functional anymore. At least, not with Tori. I go to the bathroom and rinse my eyes off with cold water, and reapply makeup. She'll never even know they could cry, let alone did.

By the time I come back, she's singing another song, it sounds like in the same style.  
"_We're on a wire but it's better than drowning__  
__And I don't care if I fall cuz I've never been higher__  
__Everything's changing but I don't care for sameness__  
__'Cause safety makes graves of the fearful I find_" As she sings the next verse, I can't get this one out of my head. Safety makes graves of the fearful. Is staying in one place out of fear essentially killing any effect you might have on the world? And then if safety comes from stability, does that mean seeking stability essential kills you as far as the whole world is concerned?  
"_A ride on a wave, a home on a wind-blown cloud__  
__Make your body loud for me_"  
"_Could you be safe in my arms, and scared at the same time__  
__Running towards and away 'til you're standing still_" She sings this twice. Seriously, this song writer must have written all her songs to me.  
"_The mystery's calling, come if you dare__  
__And find what is there when you tear down the walls_" This is… this is exactly what I need to be told. Otherwise I probably just would have asked for more than barely functional and never did anything about it. That settles it, I'm going to be nice to Tori.  
"_No you're gonna wait til the moment is certain__  
__While I've been out searching for reasons to fall__  
__Hard is the ground you're wrapping your arms around_" The writing in this song is really something to think about. A while ago, thinking like this would have been a dangerous thing. Usually, I get so absorbed in my own conflicts, I just wind up showing myself to hate myself. That's what I get for having a mind that runs away from me and with me at the same time. But Tori has been like meditation to me. She focuses me on the present.  
"_Could you be safe in my arms, and scared at the same time__  
__Running towards and away 'til you're standing still_" Again, she sings this twice. But she walks towards me as she sings it, and hugs me on the second "safe in my arms," practically whispering it in my ear. Sentimental weirdo. I give her a questioning look and pull away a little. Not because her hugging me is weird, but because doing it in the middle of a song is weird. Then she goes back up to put the microphone away.

The first thing I ask her when she gets back is who wrote those songs.

"Oh, you noticed they're the same artist? Lauren Hoffman wrote them. Sometimes she talks more than sings them, but the words are gorgeous and so… well, they seem to resonate with my life. "

"I just asked you who wrote them, Vega." Not quite the settling it I had planned on. But then you don't travel a thousand miles in one day. Well, if you're on a plane, but that's not how my life works. I don't even have shoes most of the time.

"Sorry, Jade. I didn't mean to give you so much information."

"No… I really should be more civil. How'd you learn about her? She's certainly not popular as far as I know. And she's not your usual choice of music either. Again, as far as I know."

"This one show, South of Nowhere… not the best acting, but not the worst either, and pretty adorable. They put some of her songs in there, and I really liked two of them. One was the second one I sang, the other was called Ghost You Know."

"Huh. I'll have to check out an episode someti—oh, shit."

"What?"

"Doctor Chad's back."

"Listen, ladies, if you're going to sit here by yourselves all night, why'd you chase us away? Afraid we might be just what you're looking for?"

"That fear never crossed my mind." I see Tori smirk at that.

"Well if you have dates, we'd be happy to leave. But we went to the whole trouble of buying mints."

This is clearly going nowhere fast.

"We're actually here together. On a date." She puts her hand over mine and stares him down. Why didn't we think of this before?

"You know, lesbians just haven't met the right man."

Oh, he did not just say that. This little freak of nature is going to be in a world of hurt some day. Might as well start now. But Tori keeps her hand on mine as I move to pummel his ass. Or maybe sheer his pants with my scissors, then pummel his ass. She tells him, "You could say the same thing about straight girls not having met the right woman, if you believe that. Of course, then most girls would be out of luck, seeing as I already found her. However, most closed minded bigots and proud idiots can't see that some people really just want to date people of the same sex. Or, maybe they just want to be left alone by people like you." Use your words, Vega. Use your words to tear him a new one.

"So you're saying you're not gay, but trying to get rid of me."

His jerk of a friend adds in "Unsuccessfully, too. Maybe you want us to stay."

"Well, technically speaking, I'm not gay. But I've had crushes on a total of 5 guys, none of which were you. And they weren't even that strong of feelings, and toward much better men than you. So you might as well write me off as gay."

Chad's such an idiot. "So you're bi then. That's hot."

I can practically see her fuming. So I tell them "Piss off before I find any scissors, we just want to be alone." They don't really move.

"I still don't believe you want us to leave."

Then she does one thing I did not expect. She grabs me by the ears, and kisses me. Rather hard. And rather well. I feel shocked, and I must show it a little, because she pulls away for a second and whispers "Make it look convincing," behind her hand, which is still attached to my ear. So I put my hands on the back of her head, and damned if I don't feel lightheaded even before our lips touch.

With that, she pulls away, and stares them off. I try to not blush, but it doesn't really work. I just kissed a girl in public. The blush may help our story a little though. I lay my head on her shoulder and smile up at them. And with that, they leave. That scenario was a close second to tearing them a new one.

* * *

Oh. My. God. I just kissed Jade. And it was wonderful. But it means if we ever get together, this is our first kiss. I think I can deal with that. And also I just kissed Jade. She's not gonna freak out, is she? I mean stage kisses happen all the time, right? But I just want to lean back in. And press my whole body against her this time. "Uhm… I'm going to go sing another song." That way maybe I'll stop blushing and wanting to kiss you.

I pick a song based on the suggestion I gave Andre about being in love with Jade. Of course, by now I know I won't get her out of my system. But every song helps me express it a little less, if not think it a little less. Instead of dancing around though, I sit on a stool. Just to curb my desires a little more. I still move a bit, but not off the stool.

"_It's a masquerade  
Until you take a chance and show your face  
We're all strangers here  
But I want someone to know me  
I want someone to show me who I am  
Well you can't live your life in a golden cage,  
One is all you got you know, he said  
Surrender to my love, surrender_

_It's a silly game  
Hiding all your cards and hoping you'll be safe  
I want to fall in love  
No I don't want to fall in love  
I want to fall in love  
No I don't want to fall in love  
Well you can't keep your heart in a golden cage,  
One is all you got you know, he said  
Surrender to my love, surrender_

_And I will be the ship that sails you to land  
And I will be the heat to warm your small hands_

_Yes my love I know, you can survive on your own__  
__But tonight I'm yours alone, so… yeah…_"

And I feel every word of it. I walk back over to Jade, and I see her eyes. Probing, sad, but less defensive and angry than ever before. Again, she asks me "Who wrote that one?"

"Lauren Hoffman again…"

"Really, I wouldn't have guessed… wait a minute, you have an addiction. You're not allowed to sing any more Lauren Hoffman songs tonight." She's getting a little playful. I had no idea she could act this way with me. I mean, I had seen it with Beck, but… this seems happier. And I love it.

"Aww, but Jade, I—"

"Nope. If you only want to sing a Lauren Hoffman song you will be doing no singing."

"Then what are we going to do for the next two hours?" We could always kiss more.

"I have an idea. If we call Sikowitz and say our lines, well this time, maybe he'll let us go."

"That's brilliant! I really didn't want to be up till midnight. I stayed up late last night studying." Not that I don't want to stay with you until midnight.

"Alright, I'll call him now." She walks off with her phone, and I check on Sinjin and his bell pepper eating friend. They look very entertained from the whole evening. I see Jade smiling into the phone, then she hangs up and walks back.

"I take it he agreed?"

"Yup. He'll be here in 10 minutes. We should probably run the lines until then, considering your beauty sleep tonight depends on it."

"Yeah, got to keep those certain angles appealing to some people." Jade laughs at this, then looks down, almost in regret. But Jade doesn't regret things.

After a few minutes of "You're an astronaut"s and "I love you"s, Sikowitz shows up. And he lets us go. I call Trina to pick me up, and guess what: no answer. I guess it can't really be her fault since I told her midnight.

"Hey Tori, need a ride?"

"Sure. Yeah. Trina's not picking up. Thanks Jade."

"No problem."

We get in the car and I leave Trina a message saying I won't need a ride at midnight. I'll probably call later too just to make sure she gets it. I do not want her to get angry at me, I'd never hear the end of it for a week.

Jade interrupts my thought process. "What'cha thinking about?"

"Nothing."

"Well this is going to be a boring car ride if you won't even tell me what that expression on your face was all about."

"Oh. Trina. I don't want her to accidentally drive out at midnight and make my life hell for a week to a month because of the 20 minutes she'd waste stopping by Nozu."

"Yeah. I don't know how you deal with her."

"She's family."

"That's a stupid reason. Family doesn't always mean love, or even toleration. Sometimes it means society forces you to stay in close quarters with people who make you want to take acid baths. Rarely, but sometimes."

"I guess. Then my reason is I love her. And she does make my parents think I'm really responsible. And they're used to a lot of things from her, so when I came out to them it really wasn't a big deal."

"Oh. So you were telling the truth to the good doctor."

"Yeah." Several moments of silence, then Jade turns on the radio. And she has no idea how much truth Doctor Chad got.

* * *

Awkward. Tori just told me she's pretty much gay. So I turned on the radio instead of saying anything. I'm such a dufus. "That's cool then. How come no one at school knows?"

"They did at my old school, and I didn't like how I got treated. I mean they weren't bullying me or anything, but they treated me differently."

"Oh." There's not much you can say to any of that. I mean I could… and another few minutes pass. "Yeah, I like girls too. But I guess I like guys more than you do."

"Really? That's… huh."

"What's huh?"

"I was going to say that's surprising, but it's not. But it's not expected either." She flashes a wide grin at me when I blush awkwardly. "Jade, you're about to miss the turn. Signal."

"Huh? Oh yeah." I turn onto her street, and pull up to her house. "See you in rehearsal tomorrow."

"Good night. Thanks for driving me home Nancy." And then she kisses me on the cheek. What is it with her and kissing me today?


	7. In Which, Well, Things Happen

A few days pass and all we really have time for is rehearsal. I help some with the stagecraft people too, so I don't do much beside sleep eat and act. And that's just how I love it. Except I wish I could actually talk to Jade instead of Walter talking to Nancy. And before I know it, we're putting on makeup for opening night. I pull out my adhesive for the mustache from a box, and start humming.

Jade comes in with her blonde wig on (she must have gotten here earlier to do makeup, I'm not supposed to be using any) and gasps. She says half in her Nancy voice, half in her mocking me voice. "My, what is a strapping man doing in the lady's dressing room?"

"I do not sound like that!"

"I know, I just enjoy that voice. I like saying everything ridiculously innocent in it. And you just happen to be ridiculously innocent, especially when I want to mock you."

"Well, couldn't you have told me that before? Also, I am not ridiculously innocent."

"Sometimes."

"I'm optimistic."

"Yes you are Walter. To think I'd believe my own husband is not ridiculously innocent."

At that, I just continue humming. And Jade sings along.  
"So now my heart is battered like a shield  
Growing tougher every time it heals"

"Hey, I thought you said you hadn't heard of Lauren Hoffman!"

"I hadn't. But then the other day this ridiculously innocent girl sang a few songs by her, and I looked all of them up. Interplanetary Traveler though? I mean, it's a good song, but it's really about moving from home to home, not about being an astronaut."

If it weren't minutes till the show and I had a softer object to throw at her, I would. But I settle for laughing instead.

* * *

The play ran through without a hitch. Except for my racially different twin sons. Non-discrimination has to end somewhere, Sikowitz. And then they show up. I have to warn Tori. "It's them… It's them! What do we do?"

"Run. Run, Nancy."

"Yes Walter!"


	8. In Which Jade and Walter Escape

A/N: This chapter contains a song. Sorry about that. It's italicized for easy skipping if it's not your cup of tea.

* * *

I hop into Jade's car after hurriedly changing and ditching the meet and greet. It's the closest car and I don't have a driver's license, so… "Okay Jade, where should we go?"

"I don't know Walter. Where can we get along peacefully while we hide out for several hours?"

"Why'd you call me Walter. I mean, I guess it's a nice variation from Vega, but still."

"You have your mustache on."

I wait a beat. "I'm keeping it." Jade starts cracking up. "The only places I've known us to get along are this car and Nozu."

"Well I'm hungry. So Nozu."

I was making a joke, but what Jade wants, Jade gets. At least when I have a say in it.

We get to Nozu and she sits down and orders. I need a bit for my stomach to want anything after the exhilaration of acting (and falling into Jade's chest), so I decide to sing. I pick another Lauren Hoffman song, because I want to say it to her and I figure it's becoming somewhat of an inside joke.

"_When you really know how beautiful you are_" I see her snort a little, but her mouth is full of Ancient Japanese Secret.  
"_You can rest inside that space  
relax and radiate  
flood the world in silence with your grace.  
When you really know how beautiful you are  
the voice of love inside so loud  
you'll forget to be so proud  
nothing more to prove to the restless crowd.  
I see you as a diamond in a shadow  
blind to your own light.  
Well you don't have to believe in the sun;  
you don't have to prove the moon.  
Let yourself shine,  
Beauty, I see you.  
When you really know how beautiful you are  
you'll see yourself in everything  
in waterfalls, in fools and kings  
and God will shine upon us when you sing.  
But if you never know how beautiful you are  
I will know it for you  
I will see the truth  
And love the light that shines behind the clouds you can't break through.  
I see you as a diamond in a shadow  
blind to your own light.  
Well you don't have to believe in the sun;  
you don't have to prove the moon.  
Let yourself shine,  
Beauty, I see you.  
Let yourself shine,  
Beauty, I see you.  
Let yourself shine,  
Beauty, I see you." _

When I get back to the counter, Jade is practically wolfing down the rice. Well, eating it as fast as she can with her meager chopstick skills. Once she finishes her mouthful, she looks up at me and says, "I guess her songs kinda benefit from the full on singing approach." I guess that's her way of complimenting my singing. I start to smile, then my expression turns to terror as I see Chad and his stupid friend walking up behind her. I motion behind her with my lips. She looks really confused. Shoot. I forgot people only point with their lips in Latin America. I love my grandma oh right Chad and Chad's worse half. I try to motion with my eye, but that just fails. I don't want to point, so I just tell her "The doctor's back." I'm so telling them my dad's a cop.

"Crap."

"So, we heard from the creepy kid with the curly hair you were on a fake date for your class. You guys are really good actors to pretend you were on a date and didn't like us." Chad's taller, more annoying companion states.

Jade jumps in, "Yeah, well we're a little closeted. You were the first people we told our age. Only our parents know."

"My dad's a cop!" Jade gives me a bit of a shut up glare for that, but goes with it.

"Yeah, and mine's a lawyer. Together they can give you a restraining order or sue you for hate crimes if you take it further than how much you've been annoying us."

Chad says, "Fine, we'll go, but I still don't believe a girl that pretty could be into girls."

I hear Jade mutter, "That's the last straw," before she latches onto my mouth, and a second in, moans. God either really hates me or really loves me today. I smile into the kiss, and put out a bit of a moan for good show. Then she pulls away and says, "I don't believe that a girl with any intelligence would take a kiss with a guy over _that_. Looks like gay relationships might actually threaten your love life. And I thought it was just stupid propaganda."

Jade's really having a field day with these idiots, and I want in, now that I've recovered from that kiss. "Sure maybe a decent guy could compare with a girl, but certainly not you two. Maybe you should just date each other. You seem to have matching asshole personalities, I'm sure it would work out perfectly."

And the first intelligent comeback they have the whole night, "I guess that's why it works so well between you two." Then they have the good sense to leave while they're not as far behind as they were.

"Damn, Vega, I didn't know you could insult people like that. I thought the other night was a fluke." She smiles a bit of an evil smile at me, clearly entertained by their bruised egos.

"I may be perky in the morning, but I really wake up at nine at night. I tend to get better at everything at night." I say the second part a little more suggestively than I'd planned, but I'm trying to win Jade over anyway, so it doesn't matter much.

Jade sputters a little at that though, then asks if I want a ride home. I say yes, and she tells me to get a driver's license, gets up, and walks away. My face starts to fall then she turns around with her evil grin again and pulls me out of my seat. Apparently she paid when she got her food.


	9. In Which No One Really Understands Cat

"Cat, I really don't want to have a sleepover with you."

With her sad but energetic voice, Cat responds, "But Jade, we always have a sleepover after a play."

"Okay. I just dropped Tori off, so I have to drive back to my house and get my stuff if I'm going over to your house. Or did you want to have it at mine?"

"Kay kay. Your house scares me a little, so I'll bring my teddy." Alright, I guess that means we're having it at my house.

A while later, both Cat and I show up at the same time. I open the door and she hurries to take off her shoes and do a sock slide while still holding onto her teddy.

"I'm kind of tired, can we just change and hang out in my bed so we can fall asleep whenever?" I ask, kind of fed up with her hyperness already.

"Okay." She grabs her bag and slides and skips to the guest bathroom. I think she really likes how big my house is, or how expansive the hardwood floors are. It just makes it empty and cold, not an ice skating rink.

Up in my bedroom I crank the wind up radio and put it on some station with good reception and decent music. I like it because it doesn't use electricity and winding it up is like setting a timer if you know your radio well. And I have trouble going to sleep without some constant noise. I snuggle into the covers a little, and lament the fact that songs between what grownups had growing up and current music are never on the radio. And that only well-known music is on. I smile a little as I wonder as to how Lauren Hoffman even had Karaoke versions of her songs at Nozu. Cat barges in in her pink pajamas with her teddy and jumps in next to me.

"Jade, why are you smiling?"

"I'm just remembering something."

"What did Tori do?"

"Why do you think it's about Vega? I'm happy about other things too." I realize I just admitted Tori makes me happy.

"Well, yeah, but you don't smile often, but you only ever really smile around Tori. Or when you're tormenting someone. Especially Tori. Or when you're singing I guess. But especially when you sing around Tori. Like when we sang give it up you hardly cracked a smile, but you positively grin when you sing with Tori. And that time you tormented those Karaoke-dokie girls _with_ Tori and she sang and you danced. That's the happiest I've seen you."

"…I guess after all this time I still don't know what's inside your head. I love that."

Cat squeals a little, "Jade loves me!"

"I didn't say that!"

"But you meant it," she pushes her nose up and towards me just a little as she says this. It reminds me of Tori asking for a hug.

"My God. How do you know what's going on inside my head?"

"I have to know what's going on inside someone's head. And most people don't think I know what's going on in mine," Cat admits a little sadly.

I turn on my side, ruffle her hair, and tell her, "I think we really go insane when we know everything that's going on inside of our heads. Most people drive themselves insane just trying to sort it out a little. And you're not insane, so of course you don't know." I quirk my lips up a little as I say this. I only ever smile around Cat and Tori. And no one can take my Cat away from me. She smiles a little bashfully up at me.

"Thanks Jade!" She places her pointer finger on my nose, then cuddles into her teddy and falls asleep. Whenever I find myself wanting an older sister to hug me better (even when I don't want her to) or a younger sister to teach things to and help through thunder storms, I realize how bizarrely Cat fills both roles. In the totally normal version of a family.

Just as I'm about to get to sleep, I hear whale sounds come on the radio repeatedly. Justin Beiber doesn't deserve all the crap he gets, but he's still nowhere near my good side. And anyone who decides to put whale sounds in a song's background about being someone's boyfriend at 11 at night at least deserves some of the crap. I change the channel, and think about how awake and alive Tori must feel two hours after truly waking up as I drift to sleep with my sister.


	10. In Which Jade Gets Flowers

A/N: This update's a result the amount of people who storyalerted it (but I feel weird about it because I hate it when people say they'll update if people review), and I will continue to be guilted into updating even if no one else does anything.  
Not that it's particularly unenjoyable to update, I just had to watch all the ME3 extended cuts and pack for summer session is all. Anyway, thanks for the interest. And if there's anything you'd like to see, don't be afraid to suggest it.

* * *

I wake up and a small part of Cat's hair is on my eye. As I start to get ready for school, she mumbles a little and rolls so that her hand is hanging off the bed and startles herself awake with what I assume is the fear of falling. I know her questions pretty well by now, so I answer all of them. "It's Friday, last night was opening night of that narcoleptic astronaut play, and you have 40 minutes to get ready."

"Kay kay." Her speech is always slower in the morning. I go downstairs to get breakfast ready and give her access to my bathroom. I'm not feeling particularly creative today, so I just take out some muffins that my mother baked a few days ago and go up to ask Cat if she wants eggs. I hate eggs, the way they slither down your throat, but Cat seems to like them, and I'm a decent cook.

"No thanks Jade. Do you have juice?"

"Not for you Cat. You're getting milk." I would give the girl juice, but it makes her act a little crazy. I go back down the stairs and pour some juice for myself and drink it before she gets down, then pour her milk and make coffee for the day. "You ready yet?"

"Almost, just let me put my pajamas back in my bag. BRB." We don't really have to leave yet, but I like driving to school while it's still twilight so I don't have to drive too much during the day.

Once we get there, we hang out in what will be the shade once the sun comes fully out from the horizon and the fog- I burn easily- and listen to our pearpods. Once school starts, I make it through math and science- figures I'd get those in the morning- and make my way to acting class. We're not really doing much today, Sikowitz is just promoting the play. Tori walks in and sits next to me. I ask her what's up.

She smiles and says "I love how foggy it is today. Sometimes I want the sun, but it's just got a refreshing feeling to it right now."

"Yeah. I like the fog too," and I take a sip of my coffee.

Beck turns around and asks, "Why are you being so nice to Tori?"

"Why do you care?" I know why he cares. He cares about Tori. And maybe about me. I tend to be less mean when I just don't have the energy to go around experimenting on people. But I don't understand why he dated me for so long when he clearly likes goody two shoes. If only he knew how Tori could insult people.

"Idunno, it's just weird"

Tori interjects, and I guess I was remembering her insulting Chad because she asks, "Why are you smiling like that? Why is she smiling like that?"  
And Beck responds, in slightly less confused panic than Tori, "I wish I knew."

I smile at their panic and take another sip of my coffee, and think about how much more Tori is like coffee than Beck is. Her hair is the color of coffee beans. She's energetic and makes other people energetic. She smells good. She can either be really sweet or really strong. I think I'm starting to like this girl for more than how unpredictable and crazy she is. My subconscious probably did a lot of sorting last night, because today being around her is less of a pleasant warmth and curiosity and more of a nuclear reactor in my sternum. Well, not that extreme, but it certainly seems like something's in there generating energy. After a long silence, I hear Tori ask, "So are you excited for the second night?"

"Eh. The only things worth noting in high school drama are opening night and closing night. The first time you go on, and Sikowitz trying to prank all the actors plus a cast party." She looks a little crestfallen, so I add, "Of course, being on stage is always good. Just no particular added excitement because it's a play." Beck glances back at us again, a little cautious.

"So you're going to the cast party then?"

"Yeah, probably. It won't be very big though. It's at your house, right Vega?"

"Yup. Trina made me volunteer because she wants to crash it."

Beck, Andre and I all groan at this.

I guess Andre was in on our conversation too, "Yo, I don't mean to be rude, but can't your sister find a bigger party to crash? I mean the whole point is it's just the cast and crew!"

I put in my classic two cents about Trina, "Yeah, no one likes her."

Tori gets defensive and exclaims, "I do! Sometimes. She's not that bad at parties!" She relents a little as we continue to stare incredulously, "Alright, I'll try to make her go to another party."

Sikowitz finally decides to talk about his latest shenanigans with his blender and coconut milk and about the importance of miming in theatre because the audience is too far away to see the more subtle actions that they can on camera. This continues until the class is through, and before I know it, it's time for lunch.

* * *

Jade's been really nice to me so far today. Not actively nice, but I think several people would die of shock if she ever were to become actively nice. Not that I mind seeking out her niceness at all. And now she's sitting next to me at lunch. Sure she would have had to sit next to Robbie or Beck as an alternative. But still, Jade West is sitting next to me!

Andre and Cat show up not much later with their food. The table's pretty silent until we're finished, when Andre points out that we have to do our homework now if we want to get to sleep at a reasonable hour because after school time will be taken up by the play. Hoping to start a trend so I don't have to move away from Jade, I pull out my homework and start on it. Everyone else decides to do it here too. Score!

After a while, I get frustrated with my arithmetic skills. I understand the concepts just fine, but I keep having to do each problem twice to get the right answer. When I finish off my math (which is all my homework for the day!), lunch is almost over. When I look up, Jade has her eyes on me. Not for long though: she pulls her lips into a smirk-type half smile, exhales are the way someone does when they're mildly entertained, and looks back down at her physics book.

"What?" I ask her.

"Your concentration and accomplishment faces."

"Oh." I blush a little, and think about asking her out now. The problem is, we usually only hang out in public. And in order to hang out in private I would also need to ask to hang out in private…publically. And she may need me more as a friend than a girlfriend. And I'm a chicken. Because we've kissed, and that either means she likes me or feels comfortable enough to put on a show with me. So at the very least we should be able to hang out in private. I promise myself that by the end of this weekend I'll have made several attempts to seduce her and either have set a time to hang out, just the two of us, or been rejected. And the bell rings.

Next thing I know, we're getting ready for the play. Someone knocks, then enters the dressing room while I'm putting my binder on. I smile my evilest smile, then straighten my face. "Hey Jade, can you hold this end while I wrap the rest around my chest?"

I see her reaction in the mirror. She looks up, her eyes widen a bit, and she says, "Sure." She struggles with where to hold it, and settles on my back, but kind of close to my armpit. I'm currently thanking whoever designed binder usage protocol that you can put them on top of bras, or this would be incredibly awkward. As it is, it just fits into my plan of seducing her. Especially since I don't have my mustache on yet. I work fast.

I fasten the end of the ace bandage and put on my shirt and jacket. It's not much of a difference, but it's an important one. We sit next to eachother and pin on our wigs. The light is pretty blinding, but I guess you need it to see what makeup looks like onstage. We play our little acting games and do our warm-ups with the rest of the cast, then go on for the second night.

After the show, my parents are there. I guess they chose Friday night to come see it. I see Jade go off to talk to Cat and by extension Robbie, and I feel a little bad about the flowers my parents gave me. I tell them and Trina I'll be right back and we can leave in a bit, then I walk over to her.

Cat's face lights up a little (only a little by Cat standards), and Robbie can't pull his attention away from her. I turn to see Jade, a little more sober looking than usual. It's especially weird because she still looks like Nancy. I decide on the intrusive approach. I practically tackle her and announce in my manly voice, "Honey, I'm home-and I brought flowers!"

A laugh forces its way out of her mood. "At least they're not sunflowers or roses. Your parents have good taste." I look down, examining them for the first time, and it's a few different lilies with some wildflowers. They're definitely from our backyard. Thank you California for your weather.

"Here." I push them into her hands. She looks at me a tiny bit incredulously for a second, and I explain, "They're from our backyard."

"Thanks. I like lilies." I think she forgot herself for a second there, because she adds menacingly, "especially blood lilies. They look enough like thin blood, but I really like the color when it comes out in greater quantities. It's a shame they're not darker and duller." She did her job right because Robbie's trying to get away as inconspicuously as he can. Which is quite conspicuous for him. I can't help finding that entertaining. But Cat's more concerned about him and follows.

And then it hits me. I'm alone with Jade. Luckily she talks first, "Sadistic entertainment with Robbie aside, thank you. Even if they're from your backyard and your parents it means a lot to get flowers every now and then. If anything it would make some people sentimental and hang on to the flowers rather than give them away. So don't write it off by telling me it's no big deal because of those things."

* * *

"How can you know what to say like that?"

I shrug. "I articulate what I think well."

"Then how can you know what to _think_ like that?"

"Emotional maturity."

"But you're so young!"

I look at her with a 'don't give me that bullshit' stare, then I explain. "People grow taller under the weight of the world that they may cripple and relax rather than strain to hold it high."

"Who said that?"

"Me." Tori looks at me with a mix of concern and wonder. She struggles for a second, and then she remembers she's allowed to hug me. I think she read more than I wanted her to into the 'weight of the world' thing.

"I'm not going to promise you everything will be alright, because that's a load of crap. What I can promise you is that the people who care will do everything in their power to make it alright, and that I care a lot."

I chuckle. "I bet you can't tell me who said that." Tori goes to therapy?

"No, I can't… it's not exactly those words either, I can't quite remember."

"That's a shame. I imagine you'd like to know."

"I would. They're a genius and must be amazing at expressing feelings." I break into something close to a cackle. "Jade, I thought you stopped making fun of my serious moments!"

My laughter dies down a little, "Sorry. It's just that you said I'm amazing at expressing feelings." I pretend to wipe a tear out of my eye from the laughter, but it's really nothing my eyes wouldn't soak back up in a minute.

"Just you then," Tori mumbles.

* * *

It's just her I've been wanting to kiss. "Do you wanna go out sometime?"

"Excuse me?"

"Like on a date. But not for the play. I totally understand if you want a friend more than a significant other, but I figure I might as well express some interest otherwise nothing would ever happen, and then we'd just be left on the cusp of a deeper friendship but still pretending to be acquaintances forever, and—" I hadn't even noticed her had moving towards my face when she shushed me.

"Tori. You're babbling."

"You called me Tori!"

"I also called you Tori at Nozu when I decided to give you a ride, and I do it in my head all the time. It's not extraordinary or anything." But it is. Because it lets me know she's being genuine rather than defensive right now. Or as non-defensive as she gets.

"Sooo…date? Yay or nay?"

"Yay. But you realize you asking me means you have to decide on where to go. And this would have to remain closeted for a while. To spare Beck's feelings and make sure we're not revealing an important part of ourselves to strangers for nothing."

"Yay! Give me a while to plan it. How about on Sunday since our Saturday's pretty full? Does Sunday work for you?" God, I'm going into full blown babble mode I'm so giddy.

"Just plan it Tori. Also, you might as well tell cat since she'll figure it out anyway." I always thought she was a little ditzy. Apparently my confusion shows, "You don't have to be all kinds of intelligent to be emotionally intelligent."

"Alright. See you tomorrow Mrs. Swain." I start to walk back into the dressing room area, but Jade calls to me.

"Hey, Vega. Don't tell anyone that I accepted flowers so willingly. Or what kind of flowers I like."


	11. Where Andre Finally Gets a Role

A/N: Sorry for the update delay. The next one should be much faster. Enjoy!

* * *

I have a date with Jade in two days. And that's all I can think about. I should be exhausted, but I'm having a bit of trouble getting to sleep right now. It's that whole being full of energy and love feeling again. Only now it's increased so much and it won't even go away when I'm not thinking about her. I assume. But I'm not sure because I really don't think I have stopped thinking about her since giving her flowers. I especially can't stop thinking about the giving her flowers part. She looked kind of strange with her wig off but the rest of her costume on.

I've been running through ideas for dates. I wish I could ask someone, like Beck. But I don't really want him in on this, and Jade would kill me if I did. Cat! Jade said Cat would already know. I'll ask her tomorrow. There's always the movie and/or dinner date. And the slightly more romantic than just dinner picnic. The weirder piñata hitting or water balloon fight. The day at the beach might be a little too public. Why are there so many options?

I finally decide to go get a book rather than obsessing over everything. Especially since we have two shows tomorrow and I have to pretend I'm married to her instead of having a really intense schoolgirl crush. Let's see...it has to be one that can keep all my attention, so nothing too full of old-timey wording. Oh! Looks like my mom picked up the book I had on hold from the library today. That sounds good.

* * *

Hm. I have a date with Tori. That's not really anything I expected to happen. And I have flowers in my bedroom. I honestly probably expected that even less. I suppose there's nothing to do now but go to sleep.

I wake up a little late the next morning, but the matinee show isn't until 3 hours later and I have to do my makeup there anyway. I just put on some clothes and brush my hair, not really bothering to do anything else yet. I hate it when I have to drive during the day. When I get to the school, I see Cat.

"Hi Jade! Robbie styled your wig!" she practically squeaks sometimes, I swear.

I walk towards the dressing room door with her following me and see the wig. "It doesn't look ANY different."

Robbie pops out from around the corner, "It is! Wigs are especially important in theatre you know! Any stray hairs show up REALLY WELL on the stage."

He's right. "Whatever Shapiro. Just keep your hands away from my actual hair whenever I use it."

"O-of course. I don't have a death wish or anything."

I hear Tori's voice from down the hallway, "Seriously Jade, I don't think anyone would touch your hair without your express permission. Thanks for doing the wigs Robbie. And hi Jade, hello Cat." She walks into the dressing room and puts her bag down then turns back around and stares at me. She focuses around my eyes, but not my actual eyes. _Right_. I didn't put make-up on. "You look nice without make-up. Kind of less scary and less mysterious. Your eyes are a little softer ar—"

"I like looking scary and mysterious, and I like having a leer that can puncture people's heads. But thanks, I guess." I glance over to Cat, and she giggles a little and covers her mouth as if something really great for gossip and also really amazing for her just happened. "O-_kay_, I'm going to go put Nancy make-up on." I move past Tori to get into the room, and I think she forgets to let me by for a second. As I sit down sort of facing the door, I see Cat drag Tori away towards the stage.

Cat pulls me by my hand, and my head lags for a bit before it catches up to my body. "Oh, good, I wanted to ask you something, Cat."

"Me first!"

"Sure Cat, what is it?"

She hushes down a little, and asks, "When have you been hanging out with Jade more? And how did you get her to stop being so defensive?"

"Wow, Jade was so right."

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"Nothing, just that she knew you would know something was up."

"Kay kay."

"I don't know why she stopped being defensive. But we hung out when Sikowitz made us and also after the play Thursday, and we talked after the play on Friday, but that's it."

"Seriously? But she looks like she spent an extra month with you!"

"How can you quantify it like that?"

"I've known Jade for years. She's not the only one who studies people."

"Jade studies people?!"

"Yeah! Didn't you figure that out by now with how she kept tormenting you?"

"No, I was more focused on her tormenting me," I say a little angrily. I wish I'd known. Cat pulls back a little. I don't know how I never connected her being super sensitive about how people say things to knowing what people are feeling before. "I'm not angry at you Cat."

"Oh," she says a little airily, "good!" And she smiles like me not being angry is the best thing that ever happened. Then she looks at me expectantly with almost puppy-dog eyes and sways a little with her hands clasped.

"I asked her out," I almost whisper. And she squeals. So much for inconspicuous. "But I need your help. I don't really know where to take her."

"Torriiiiii, Tori Tori Tori." She starts to wiggle a little at this point, and she looks like she could go on forever.

"What?"

"Whatever you do, make it special. Well, interesting. Jade can't resist intriguing. And don't hold back on the touchy feely. She needs someone who feels too much. Why do you think she's actually friends with me? She hates perky things," she lowers her voice a little sadly towards the end.

"Yeah but where do—" I'm cut off as she puts her finger on my lips and shushes me. People are doing that a lot lately.

"It wouldn't be fair if I told you."

"Fair in what sense?"

"I D K, but it just wouldn't."

"Alright. Thanks, I guess."

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"I'm not really disappointed, Cat." I finally know to just tell her what my tone of voice actually means now.

"Yay!" She skips off to do God knows what.

I take out my computer and sit with my back facing the fake wall. I pull up two tabs, one to browse random things on the web and one to look up date ideas. I don't know why I bother with the date ideas, they all say the same vague things. So I end up on the Slap for a long time. I look at Andre's page and go back to before I started at Hollywood Arts. Apparently Sinjin used to be even more obsessed with our friend group. I see some random stalker-ey photos from on top of the balcony area that he slapped everyone in. I think he's actually on top of the roof in one of them. Weird. I shut down my laptop and go back into the dressing room, it's about time to get ready again.

* * *

After the matinee show and getting out of costume, we all get lunch and eat at our regular table. Everyone's there too, since Cat and Robbie volunteered as stage hands. By the time Tori gets her food, everyone's already sitting. Cat's next to Robbie in the middle, Beck and Andre are opposite me, and I assume Tori's going to sit next to me. Unless she suddenly decides to sit on that gross fourth bench.

"I feel sorry for Tori." I really wish Robbie didn't have to bring Rex to lunch. "Ever since Beck and Jade broke it off she has to sit next to Jade."

"You know Rex, you're sitting next to me too." Tori's sitting by now.

"Yeah, but I don't have to share a bench with you. Though I suppose I wouldn't mind sharing one with your and Vega's fine asses."

"You know, I feel sorry for you. You _always_ have to sit next to Robbie. That can't be fun."

Robbie pipes up, "Hey!"

"Don't get your panties in a twist girl, I was just trying to empathize with Tori. She's into that touchy-feely stuff in guys." How he manages to make the word empathize sound crass I'll never know.

Andre interjects, "You know, I didn't think about that. Why isn't Cat sitting next to Jade?"

Robbie, the love sick puppy, decides to tell everyone, "Cat can sit wherever she wants."

"You guys. It's fine. I'm used to Jade by now," Tori finally says something.

"Used to me?" I raise an eyebrow.

"Yeah…uh, not like anyone could ever fully get used to you, but sitting next to you isn't torturous in the same way it used to be." Is she insinuating something? Well, at least she can't get used to me. I don't want her to get bored with me or anything.

Andre thinks it's time for him to talk again so he tells Tori, "Alright girl, as long as you're cool."

Tori nods and I feel her knee bump into mine. Her leg goes behind mine and her foot wraps around my ankle. It's strange, but when she gives a squeeze, I'm kind of reminded of someone squeezing a hand reassuringly. And it's much better than footsie at least. The rest of lunch passes with inane conversation. Then we all go our separate ways to pass the time between the matinee and the evening show.

* * *

I think I'm going to take Jade on a picnic date. I saw the place from the roof that Sinjin took the picture from at lunch, and it looks like it only requires a little climbing. Plus at night it's probably trespassing, so Jade'll like that. I'm really excited, but now I need to figure out what food to bring. I busy myself making a list of everything I can remember Jade eating at lunch. Sikowitz finds me and makes me do a drive by acting exercise with Cat where I have to be a butterfly. Then he walks away, I assume to prepare for whatever the prank is. I try to get it out of Cat what it's going to be since stagehands always help, but she just giggles and tells me to stay off the set until the play.

When I go onstage, I see on every surface the audience can't pictures of scantily clad, very well-muscled men. I'd heard about his pranks, but I wasn't in any productions he was in charge of before except for Steamboat Suzie. They decided to forego pranks because of all the blood loss. So I'm not exactly prepared for this, but I decide if it's just another way to test our acting ability I'm going to pass. I see Jade's eyes twinkle with almost laughter at me from offstage. He must pull the scantily clad men one a lot.

When the play's over, I go see Cat, Robbie, and Jade again and talk to them about the prank. Robbie can't stop laughing when Jade pulls out the beauty magazine cover with a man's body attached to the head. I'm not sure how Beck and Andre dealt with that being on the table the whole time. When there's a standstill in the conversation and the audience has left, Jade yells, "Alright, next four people over here get a ride to Vega's house for the cast party."  
"We count as being over here, right?" I ask.

"Yup." She says as Andre runs up.

"Alright, that's four, time to go," Andre says a little nervously.

"Why so antsy, pretty boy?" Jade's actually pretty funny once you get past the mean edge to her words.

"That girl who liked my lips is here, and she had me confused for Beck cause we were dressed as twins, so now we gotta move before she realizes his lips aren't candy."

"You really pick the smart ones, huh?" I say as we walk towards the car. Cat and Robbie ran off to get their potluck contributions and are hurrying to get back.

"Yeah, yeah." He keeps looking back at her and gets in the car. "Thanks Jade, I really appreciate this."

"Whatever." She gets in the driver's seat, and Robbie and Cat sit next to Andre in the back. So I get to sit in the front, and Jade is the only one who can see my face. I let myself smile as hard as I've been wanting to this whole time.


	12. Jade's Theory: Confirmed

A/N: I told you this would be faster. The next one should also be within the week. I have an outline (and I don't normally).

* * *

Vega's house is one of my favorite places, oddly enough. I like looking through all her things. Most of the time I don't actually rifle through them: more look over them. I especially loved the look on her face when I came down out of her room and told her "you have a lot of… things in there." I'm not sure anyone's more entertained by her expressions than I am.

She spins around and faces everyone who's here: me, Andre, Cat, Robbie, Sinjin, and Sikowitz. It figure's they'd somehow get here exactly as we did. "Alright, if you can put the food on the kitchen counter, I'll go get some board games and cards and dvds."

We settle on playing apples to apples until Beck, Tori's play boss, and the other crew members get here. Sinjin suggests, "Why don't we play backwards while we still have few enough people? One time I was playing with Burf and some other friends and juicy won for beerbellies. Who doesn't love juicy beerbellies?"

We all agree on one thing. Andre: "Naw man." Tori: "Not really." Rex: "Dude no!" Me: "Gross!" Cat: "What happens when you poke them?" Robbie: "Nothing good, Cat. Nothing good." Sikowitz: "That reminds me of my year in Australia."

I reply "No one wants to hear about your year in Australia!"

"But the most common cause of not coming into work there is possum attacks! Everybody loves possum attacks!" Sinjin, of course, nods enthusiastically to this.

Tori ignores this, "I guess we could play that way."

There's a chorus of "yeah"s and "sure"s in the room.

We deal the cards and I get stuck as the first judge since I'm to the left of Andre.

"First card is… Darth Vader."

Once they all put their cards in, I turn the over. Trustworthy. Timeless. Puffy-Cat lets out a two syllable giggle. Dignified. Elitist. Arrogant. "Why are there seven cards?"

"I'm playin' too West" Rex tells me. Ugh.

"Fine. Who the hell put trustworthy, he cuts his son's hand off and then turns on the Emperor too!"

Apparently it was Rex, "My bad, I thought you liked evil dudes."

"Dignified." It's a close one between that and timeless, but he has good posture and a great cape, reveres the force, and dies with honor.

Tori claps her hands and says "Yay! My turn to judge." I smile internally and stare at my lap for a second, knowing that she thinks that despite all his evil Vader's still dignified. She collects the Darth Vader card and everyone takes another adjective, then turns over the noun. "My ex."

I look at my hand and choose Awful. She turns over all the cards once they put them down. Cat was deciding for a while. Corrupt. American. Sexy. She raises her eyebrow and looks around the room. Talented. Fragrant. Awful. Cheesy. She considers them all, then holds up Awful and My Ex. I snatch them from her hand and see her smile before I look back down to put Awful in the discard pile. "But seriously, who put sexy?"

"I told you, Rider's hot. And I'm still secure," Rex says. "What I want to know is who put American."

Sikowitz explains, "I thought all her exes were from America. Of course I put American. Sinjin, did you bring any coconuts?"

"Did I ever!" He pulls out a small sack of coconuts, and Sikowitz takes out a hand operated drill and straw.

I practically scream, "I knew it! I knew you were his coconut source!" And I immediately regret it because no one knows why I thought so, so they just think I'm crazy. The doorbell rings. Tori jumps up to get it and has to pull her shirt down to cover her back. Since we were sitting right next to each other, it seems a little obvious for me to look up, but then I remember I've spoken to her butt before. Oh well. I put my feet up where she was sitting and turn my head nonchalantly. It's the rest of the cast and crew. Who would have guessed?

Tori explains that we're playing apples to apples but will probably have to switch to the regular version now that there are so many people. She gets back to the couch and sees my legs.

"Why are your legs in my seat?" I deserve that.

"I don't know, why don't you ask my legs?" She deserved that.

"I'm not sure I should…but I think my butt and your legs should have an extended conversation about who sits where." And she sits down on my legs. I survey the room. Everyone's waiting for me to explode. Except Cat, Cat is smiling and sucking on a marshmallow. Without taking her eyes off of us, she gives one to Robbie, missing his hand and ending up near his mouth…so he just eats it out of her hand. My eyes follow Robbie's hand to Rex, who keeps looking back and forth between us and Robbie with his mouth open; he doesn't know where to stare.

I pull my legs out and say, "I think they sorted it out."

"Good."

Beck and the others sit down, "Thanks for the help back there Andre." He says it so sarcastically you'd think he's not used to being attacked by girls. It's probably worse since we broke up though. Sucker.

"Yeah man, tell me what happened."

"Well I tried for a while to not kiss her, but she finally got past my hands, said, 'you're not Andre!' and stomped off."

"Exactly! Think about what woulda happened if I was there!"

"I guess. I'm hungry. What's for dinner?"

Cat exclaims delightedly, "marshmallows!" and rolls back a little to stick out her legs and her arms in excitement.

Maybe they're as bad as juice, "Hey Robbie, make sure she doesn't have too many."

"But look at her; she loves them!"

"Hey Cat, would you like to eat something else tasty?" I hear a mumbled yes through a marshmallow and drag her into the kitchen.

* * *

I speak up, "Hamburgers and gardenburgers if you're still wondering Beck. My mom grilled them a while ago and left them on trays in the oven to stay warm."

"Thank you Mrs. Vega!" he says as he goes into the kitchen to get one. The rest of us follow and I see Jade making one for Cat. She's so adorable taking care of people. Then she sort of shoves it at her to downplay the whole affection of the affair. I can't help but thinking she'll be great with kids. And even better with teenagers.

I get a veggie burger because I don't want anything as heavy as meat right now and go back to sit in Jade's seat. She walks in after me with Cat—I guess she had enough time to make two hamburgers—and stares at me. "Did we not just have a conversation about this?"

"We did. Didn't your legs get the memo?"

"Oh, they did alright," she curls her lips into a maleficent smile and sits where I'm supposed to sit then puts her legs on top of my lap. A few more people are in the room now.

"Fine," I say as I put my plate on top of her calves. They're nice calves too. Why does she always wear tights or pants?

We play a few more rounds of apples to apples before breaking off into smaller groups to watch tv, play spoons, and just talk. The winners were Awkward: 4chan: Sinjin; Handsome: Hilary Clinton: Beck; Immature: Televangelists: Sikowitz. Hillary Clinton wins a lot for being a person card. Rex makes a joke about the adjectives describing their sex lives. That joke is about as common as the Hillary Clinton card winning is. Also, it means Jade's sex life is being my ex, and mine is Darth Vader. But no one mentions either of those, probably because they're not adjectives. But they make me happy. After putting away the cards, I go to the kitchen table to play spoons. I get out first because Andre pushes all the spoons off the table once he grabs his. Jade gets out next when Cat accidentally grabs two spoons, says "oops!" really loudly, covers her mouth with her other hand, and drops one right in front of Robbie. She also laughs nervously when she sees Jade. Jade looks back at her suspiciously, then leans back.

I get bored of watching the game pretty quickly and take out my phone to text Jade, "Pick me up 7pm my house tomorrow. Don't eat before."

My phone buzzes pretty quickly, "You really need to get a license Vega. Someday you'll need a ride and a murderer will be the only 1 to offer it." I'm more than a little upset that she didn't confirm or deny anything and she's just teasing me, but as I'm about to look up at her my phone buzzes again, "Wouldn't want that to happen b4 I have a chance, especially when I'm rethinking if I'll ever want you dead at all. See you at 7 Tori." I love how she used Tori in the nicer one. It makes me feel like we have a special code or something. I press my shoulders in towards my chest and pull them up a little. It's almost a shiver, but I don't shake at all. I look up at her and she has somewhat of a crooked smile, but not a maleficent one like earlier. It's a shy one. She looks back over at the game and laughs as Andre and Robbie fight over the spoon. I'm noticing it for the first time.

"Guys, please don't bend the spoon." Robbie turns around slightly confused and accidentally lets go of the spoon. Jade laughs as he makes a disappointed face. The kind of laugh that's both sadistic and indicative of someone really enjoying themselves. I check Cat's reaction to all of this and her happiness for Jade by far outweighs her sadness at Robbie's loss. I'm so glad they're there to take care of each other. I never want to imagine one of them without the other.

My phone buzzes again. "What do you think Sinjin does to the coconuts before he gives them to Sikowitz?" I text back, "Let's go find out."

* * *

Tori's really buying into this coconut story. She's "commandeered" one of them to test it. Her plan is to drink its milk under my supervision. I love having someone for spontaneous shenanigans.

"Let's go climb a tree."

"Is that the milk talking already?" I never thought it'd be that fast, but climbing a tree sounds fun.

"No, I just want to be able to tell people I drank coconut milk in a tree with Jade West when they ask me how my weekend was." I look back inside, and everyone's gathered around the TV watching what looks like Xena. I hear a war cry from the TV and my suspicions are confirmed. Cat turns around, looks a little confused, then smiles and waves as Tori grabs my hand and goes off into her backyard. The flowers out here are pretty. She stops me by the shoulder and hands me the coconut, then starts up the tree. And I have a _really_ great view. Not only am I supposed to stand here, but she's swinging around slightly every time she steps up a branch. No wonder she could climb the rope ladder at the Gorilla Club. She motions for me to give her the coconut back and I climb up. I skip one of the limbs she used, instead holding onto one the same level, walking up the tree trunk, placing my legs over it, then with a combination of pushing and pulling I sit up on the branch.

Crap. I think I was just trying to impress her by climbing a tree. She hands me the milk again and goes up another three feet so she's obscured by the foliage. I follow her and we spy on people through the glass window. "I can't believe you own Xena. That's like… the gayest show of the 90's."

"Yes. Yes it is. It gets even gayer towards the end if you haven't seen it." She sips the milk. "This actually isn't bad." The straw starts to make annoying noises.

I shout, "No!" and grab the coconut out from under the straw. I then pull the straw from her mouth and give her back the coconut. "_Pour_ it into your mouth."

"But it's so _fuzzy_!"

"You wore a mustache for at least 10 hours this week. Don't complain about fuzzy when you're willing to do that." She starts giggling and swinging her legs, and I'm almost afraid she's going to fall, especially when she tilts back her head to drink the rest.

I grab her by the arm to steady her and she smiles at me and tells me, "I think it's a placebo effect…but I have a strange urge to force some teenage actors on a date."

I laugh pretty hard at this, maybe just because I know she enjoys me laughing. "Let's go see Robbie and Cat then."

"Oh. My. God. THAT WOULD BE SO CUTE."

"Placebo effect my ass," I mumble. I slowly descend the tree and help her down after me.


	13. The Effects of Coconuts

A/N: Thank you for the follows, reviews, and favorites. They make me happy. I wrote half the next chapter already, so it should be up tomorrow. I just split it here so the chapters are more independent of each other.

* * *

This milk may give Sikowitz visions, but it just gives me an excuse to act weird. My mind feels like feet do when they get out of shoes and socks and into the water. Free, ready to do something, and a little hyper. Maybe that's being with Jade though.

Speaking of Jade, "This is almost as bad as Cat with juice."

"Cat gets crazy when you give her juice?"

"Yeah. Not nearly as close to the entertaining kind of crazy as you though." We're almost back inside, so I know this moment is almost over.

"I'm glad to hear it, because I think my giddiness may have more to do with climbing a tree with you and sitting on your legs than the coconut." She smiles up at me and stares at me like I just told her I left the world's greatest collection of scissors to her: a mix of doubtful, hopeful, and thankful. Probably not that extreme though. The girl really likes her scissors. Her face stays frozen in that spot and expression as she opens the screen door. Then she ducks her head in and the moment is over.

I remember why we came inside and lead Jade on an invisible tether towards Cat and Robbie. They're off to the side making up kids songs on a guitar. "You guys sound like someone stuck two kittens together in a room full of kid's toys and gave them the ability to sing well."

Cat replies, "You really think so?"

"Yeah. And the songs are really coherent for making them up on the spot."

Robbie launches himself into the conversation, "So the kittens also have increased mental capacity?"

Cat explains my comment, "She's just saying we sound happy and good at singing silly!"

Robbie has a confused look on his face, and turns it towards me. I nod. Jade looks over at me as well, "I so did not get that."

Cat just giggles and says, "Jade sounds like one squirrel commenting on another running around a tree."

I brighten a little and ask, "And I'm the other squirrel?"

"Of course you are Tor-tor."

"Yay!" I say with a huge smile. "But really, you should see yourselves. You two have the whole squirrel dynamic going on too." Cat raises her eyebrows, looks at Robbie, and I pull Jade over towards Sikowitz. He looks like he's teaching a class.

"Excellent, Sinjin! Now who can give me an example of a hair TV trope?"

Jade responds, always on her feet, "Weird nerdy kids have curly hair."

"Good! Let's take a look at the psychological underpinnings in our own heads about why curly hair is indicative of weirdness." Everyone just stares awkwardly at Sikowitz and Sinjin. Beck includes Robbie in his awkward appraisal. I start to giggle.

Jade just sighs and answers again, "It's the opposite of slick, which we associate with well-dressed men and jocks. Also, Sinjin. And you. And Robbie. And why is class happening?" Woah. Hair is important.

I feel like I just had stoner thoughts.

"No reason! No reason at all you blunt little girl. Who's up for an improv game?" I wouldn't call Jade a little girl if I was him.

"_Never_ call me a little girl, and not me." She walks off, rather indignantly.

I hear Beck murmur, "As long as it's not questions."

"Questions it is! When I point to you I will either shout buttercup or squeak like a mouse. Mice on this side, buttercups on the other." I decide I don't want to play (after all it is questions), and follow in Jade's general direction. When I look back, everyone's a little disappointed that they're not playing something else, like freeze or item improv, but shrugging it off. "BUTTERCUP!" I hurry along as his voice booms through the room.

I pass by a hallway and something grabs my arm. I almost scream, and I shout "I swear I didn't take your cheese!" I have no idea where that came from. Earlier I still had control and my thoughts about my thoughts could still govern my actions, but now I'm thinking I'm just along for the ride. Since I just imagined a cartoon alligator in a suit tapdancing through the street looking for cheese. At least it wasn't in my actual field of vision.

I spin around, and see Jade's head tilted down, her eyes looking up at me with a slightly judgmental smile on her face. "You wouldn't be talking to me right now if you were a no good cheese thief. You'd be tied to the couch answering questions about my missing gouda. Since we're not talking about cheese though, what's with the squirrel analogy?"

"Have you never seen squirrels racing around a tree together?"

"Yeah, but I've never seen another squirrel watching one doing it by itself."

"Exactly."

"What do you mean, 'exactly'?"

"The second squirrel always wants to join the first. And then they just turn crazy and circle the tree fifty times together at amazing speeds." I can't believe I understand Cat's weird comments this well. Or that she could understand mine. Maybe she just lives in a slightly different world where water is the same thing as coconut milk. "Any more questions while I'm not sure I'm completely in control of my ability to censor things?"

"When did you start going to therapy?" Why did she ask me that?

"When I was 12. My parents thought I was starting to believe Trina about her being so much better than me at everything. That kept going till I was 14. Then I kept going because I came out and then I moved to a school where there was this really mean girl I liked a lot, and my parents had enough money all through it."

"So Trina's the reason no one knew you could sing before the showcase." She looks almost sad.

"I guess. I never thought about it that way. Any more potentially privacy invading questions?"

"Why do you like me?" The expression on her face is just like when I told her she was pretty. It's heartbreaking that all _real_ compliments are met with this level of timidity.

* * *

"You should probably ask me when I'm not imagining alligators missing cheese so I'm more eloquent. But here goes: You're amazing at acting, your voice resonates with every bone and vein in my body, you seem emotionally experienced because of how tortured you act, you speak your mind and speak it well, your smiles are so rare that they seem like special gifts and I like special gifts more than regular gifts, you trust me in a really basic way with your worst moments and I need to be needed to feel important, you challenge me to be more assertive and confident by encroaching on my confidence hostilely, and your personality just works so well with mine to make me happy. The only thing I ever disliked about you was your dislike of me. I don't think that's a complete or decent explanation, but I can't think of any other."

The words pour out of her mouth in a babble. Everything seems so perfect until she tells me the only thing she didn't like about me was me disliking her. If she can't find any faults with me now, there's no telling whether she'll still like me when she does find one. And she will. Knowing someone has faults is the only difference between love and infatuation, and I find myself not wanting her to be stuck in infatuation. It's temporary, and I don't want temporary. I want constant that I can't see ending. That's why I stayed with Beck for so long. At least I know she's being candid. I nod dumbly, hoping she can't tell when I'm thinking about things and what I'm thinking about as well as Cat can. Still, there's a chance she could stay when she finds the faults. But I don't want to get my hopes up.

"We should get you somewhere people won't ask you personal questions."

"Are you suggesting we go up to my room?" She waggles her eyebrows a little, but fails to keep a suggestive face. It breaks into an entertained one.

"I'm suggesting we lay low for the rest of the party. It won't be much longer now."

"What are you talking about? We still have an hour before people have to go. And I'm not going to force them out until 30 minutes after."

"True, but the coconut can't last for _that _long, right? Let's just go play Rockband with everyone."

"They're playing Rockband?! I wanna be drummer!" I stifle my laughter. She does not look like a drummer. She's so…feminine. That's okay though. It leaves singing for me.

I can't believe she bangs her head when she hits the pad every now and then. I don't believe how put together her hair looks whenever it comes back up. Her parents must not have done a very good job of trying if they couldn't convince her she was special, even if Trina was a huge part of Tori's life. It shouldn't be that hard to get someone to believe the truth. Then again, there's that gap between knowing the truth and believing it. As we play through the songs, her smile becomes less giddy and more plain happy. I think the milk's worn off. Random people are dancing to our renditions of the songs and trickling out the door. Before I know it, everyone but the people who came in my car are gone. And it hits me that we were the ones who said we were staying the latest. I stop singing after the song's over and go to put the really sugary stuff away, just in case Cat gets tempted. Tori keeps drumming, this time with Cat singing and Andre playing the guitar. Once I finish, I come back to see Robbie waving his cell back and forth while it's lit up. When the song finishes, Andre thanks the "audience" and does a crowd dive onto Robbie and Rex. Rex gets positively squashed. I'm going to have to bring this up later.

"Not to ruin your party, but I think you losers are starting to get sleep deprived."

Cat yells "Not meeeee," Tori agrees, "Me neither," and Robbie says something, but I can't hear it. You'd think with his ventriloquism skills he'd be able to talk, even under someone. Andre finally says, "Maybe I am. What of it?"

"I'm leaving soon. Either sleep here, walk home, or get ready."

"Aye, aye, Jade!" He salutes and jumps over the couch, stumbling a little on the carpet.

Robbie stretches with his new freedom, "Thanks, Jade."

No one's supposed to assume I do things for them. "Whatever."

* * *

A/N: If I'm going to continue this much more, I'll need to incorporate some angst. Anyone have strong or interesting feelings on the subject?  
I've had a song which reminds me of all the sad Doctor/Rose, Doctor/Donna, and Doctor/Martha moments stuck in my head all week, so I'm just about in the mood for some angst. Or finishing this fic off to go watch fanvideos on youtube.


End file.
